"You just got the nerve first"

May 12th, 2009 HUM 185 The Horror Film Day 1

June16th, 2009 Just about...
First time I sat next to him... FINALLY.

Slowly I began to make conversation making further attempts daily...
His voice is far too exciting to listen to. I enjoy this far too much...

I now sit with him everyday.

I would like to ask for his number... I am certain he must have a girlfriend.
He is far too attractive to be single...

July 14th, 2009
Pussy out (Like A Boss)

July 16th was a lucky day. I like to say I grew balls for a day.

"That's a neat trick"

Yes I know, but I had to do something.
He's such a cool guy that I had to pull SOMETHING out from under my sleeve...

"I kinda wanted to see if you would come talk to me. Cause if you're interested then you'd come talk to me."

You see he's kinda shy...

It took us three days to kiss. I was nervous as hell.

At least we managed to cuddle and hold hands on the first day of our chill sessions. (July 17th)

We've seen each other almost every day since then. It's great.

We missed one day because:
My friend came into town and in the end it was too late to come see him and he could not make it out to me.

The second day was my fault because I stayed at my Exes house and didn't come out to see him. (Sunday July 26th)

The third night happened because of his phone getting wet... (Tuesday July 28th)

Now today it's a different story. We're both still shy but he's puttin' on most of the moves. Picking on me. Embarrassing me. Making me feel special. Finally. A sweet guy that does all the cute stuff but still remains manly.

I know that sounds sexist... but I don't want a guy that is going to hang all over me and cling to me endlessly any more than I guy wants a girl to do the same. When I say that he is still manly about it I mean only that he does not act like a little boy.

Sadly I did not get to see him today because he was playing drums with his band for about eight hours straight... got dropped off at home... was supposed to shower and come back out... but was too tired... making this day four...

The point in telling you all of this... is that I have not felt this way in a long time.

I am happy to say that I am happy. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't much look at other men and when I do I no longer think "I should get his number" Instead simply go on my way knowing they were attractive but I've got this guy. I do not think of other men when with him, but think of him when with other men.

I will not deny the thought of other men alone in my room. However, this is more of a "I sure miss ________" And is filled with a longing to speak with them and a wonder on how they are doing currently.

I do not want to date other men. I simply want to be his. While I am not...

It is not that he is seeing someone else. It is that he has not asked me to be his alone. And while the label is not required nor needed... it is nice to know... and the feeling is unmatched.

Wish me luck for I am turning back time.

A toast to the days when I was young and innocent. I will regress into the one I once was.