Common Sense Points for Single Ladies

Signs He's Looking for A Serious Relationship
- He contacts you 3-4 times a week or more
- He wants to spend a large amount of his free time with you
- He asks you questions about yourself to get to know you, and then remembers your answers
- He takes you out and spends money on your dates
- He introduces you to his friends and family

Signs He's Dating for Fun without Commitment
- He is vague about his plans and doesn't talk much about his life
- Rather than take you out on dates, he invites you over "to watch TV/movies" and then make out
- He's not into serious conversation, only lighthearted fun
- He flakes out on you, forgets to call, etc.
- He says to you, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." (Take this seriously, he means it!)

It's Not Easy Being The "Dumper" in A Relationship

When a serious couple breaks up, the most common response is sympathy for the person who was unceremoniously dumped on the curb, while it is assumed that because the other person chose to end the relationship, he/she must be doing fine - it's what he/she wanted, right?

Now, I don't mean to belittle the pain people go through when dumped; I've experienced both sides of a breakup, and I know it hurts physically and emotionally, especially if it comes as a surprise. But the pain of the one who made the decision is often overlooked in the flurry of sympathy for the dumped. The lack of sympathy can make being the dumper even more difficult than being the dumped.

With that in mind, here are my reasons to sympathize with the dumper.


1. Missing the ex. It's not an easy decision to leave a relationship that's made it to the serious stage; just because one person made the decision to end the relationship does not mean he/she will not miss his/her ex and go through similar pain.

2. Guilt. This was someone he/she used to - and maybe still does - care very much about, and he/she just did something that hurt him/her very much. Sometimes things were said that both people will regret, and this hurts both sides.

3. Regret. It is very easy to question a decision like breaking up, and self-doubt can destroy any confidence the dumper has; there may also be the possibility of getting back together with someone who never wanted to break up in the first place. If the dumper couldn't be talked out of leaving the relationship it is very unlikely that he/she will be talked into entering it again; this is one fewer decision to be made by the dumped.

4. Anger. The one who is broken up with may feel angry or upset with the person who dumped him/her, but the dumper often has no real reason to be furious with his/her ex unless he/she was cheated on (which is a completely different issue). This makes it much more difficult to get over the feelings that person may still have for his/her ex.

All of these were things that happened to me when I went through my breakup. It's not easy being the one who ended it, and it's very difficult to blame someone for the pain felt after breaking up because it was caused by a personal decision.

Are there any reasons I've missed? Who do you typically sympathize with - the dumped or the dumper?

Further Evidence That Women Are Impossible to Understand

via Yahoo! News:

Women still have a complex and contradictory relationship with their own image according to a poll released on Tuesday that found 25 percent of those questioned would rather win the "America's Next Top Model" TV show than the Nobel Peace Prize.

And although 75 percent of women surveyed said they'd be willing to shave their heads to save the life of a stranger, more than a quarter of those taking part admitted they would make their best friend fat for life, if it meant they could be thin.

As for that age-old dilemma of whether to marry for wealth or looks, half of the 18- to 24-year-olds questioned said they would marry an ugly man if he were a multimillionaire.

The poll for U.S. television network Oxygen, which is targeted at young women, also found that 88 percent of 18- to 34-year-old women would happily give up their cell phone, jewelry and makeup to keep a friendship.

"As shown in several results, women today are a complex combination of altruistic and materialistic, vain and insecure, loyal and self-serving. This survey highlights the dichotomy in all of us," Berman said.

Sorry, guys. Ladies, to you, how much of this survey is accurate?

At first glance

Unless you're well known for your writing, the hotter your picture, the more hits you get to your site. Is there something innate in all of us that responds better to beauty?

I couldn't help but wonder… in today's society, do only good looking people deserve to be read/heard/or spoken to?

Can You Understand Men Without Being In A Relationship? (by AzNgUrl3510)

"My friend and I had this argument the other day about understanding men. She suggested that in order to know how guys are and understand men, you have to be in a serious relationship. I disagree - I think you can understand them by just interacting your own father, brother or best guy friend.

I have to admit, I never been in a serious relationship. I've dated lots of guys, but nothing really serious. I can say that I know how guys are. I grew up with a father, older brother, boy cousins, friends (boys), etc.and I've seen how they interact. She argues nope, when you start being in a serious relationship, guys won't treat you as nicely as in the beginning, and you will finally see them for who they are."

Can you understand men without being in a serious relationship?



Now I'm going to have to say that this is a yes and a no situation. First of all no one will ever fully, entirely, truly understand men. Not even men themselves. All men are different. You may be capable of understanding certain kinds of men quite well, but never all of them. That being said OF COURSE you can understand men without being in a relationship with them regardless if it's serious or not. We have brothers and fathers and uncles and cousins and FRIENDS for a reason. Can you give someone advice without actually being in the exact situation yourself? Yes? same with understanding pretty much anything. Small background with problem solving or in this case with dealing with men in some way leads to knowledge in some areas of mandom. lol So there you have it. At least this is what I'm sticking with.

An Easy Way to Get Phone Numbers from Women (Does It Work?)

I read this advice on Dating Support Center and wanted to see what you guys thought:
Here is an easy way to get phone numbers from women:

1) Flirt with her.
2) Build rapport.
3) Flirt some more.
4) Find something in common with her.
5) Suggest doing that something "in common" together.
(Important tip: Don't ask. Suggest!) Example: "We should do rock-climbing together some time.")
6) Watch her reaction.
7) If the reaction is good, ask for her number.

The key here is to be CASUAL. Imagine she's not someone you’re attracted to…like you're just meeting a friend.

You'll be amazed at how *easy* it is to get phone numbers once you have this "casual attitude" down!

Would this work on you? What's worked for you before?

Hilariously Specific Dating Sites (also entitled "Where Do I Find a Man Who Loves Smoking and Wearing a Diaper?")

Here are the most interesting, cool and completely bizarre ones I found:

gk2gk.com (geek specialized!

stdpassions.com: A site for singles with STDs to meet up and get together. It makes sense to me; it must be hard for people with STDs to start new relationships sometimes, so why not find someone who know what you're going through? The title "STD Passions" mislead me at first, though, honestly...

piercedpassions.com: For people REALLY into piercings.

nolongerlonely.com: A dating website for people with mental illnesses.

420dating.com: Really love smoking? Want to find a partner who shares the same passion as you? 420 hooks up weed enthusiasts with others who cite bong hits as their favorite pastime.

theatlasphere.com: A dating site for fans of the author Ayn Rand.

meetanostomate.com: For people with ostomies and related surgeries.

womenbehindbars.com: Find your sweetheart in jail! Those women need love, too!

dailydiapers.com: For people with diaper fetishes to find each other and place house.

And lastly, a fake one:
Mail Order Husbands : You've heard of mail order wives, but check out these mail order husbands!

If you know of any of strangely specific dating sites, post them!

Too Young? Too Old? (Relationships and Age Differences)

An article written by an astrologer regarding the correlation between age and a relationship... He said the foolproof method of determining whether or not the age gap is appropriate lies in simple math:

"Cut the older partner's age in half....then add 7. If the younger one is younger than that...they're 'too young'. It doesn't matter how old you are, the same rule applies. If you're 30, you shouldn't go out with anyone younger than 22 (15+7). If you're 42, your partner ought to be at least 28."

This sounded pretty genius to me, so I thought I'd share.

Do you agree with the method? According to his formula, what's the youngest age you should date?

(My limits for being a 20 year old female are 17-26 year old men according to this)