Understanding?

There is none for me right now.

I miss him.

There is not just one him. This is not a simple situation.

The truth is I'm wasting time hoping for things that there truely is no hope for...

He.
Who no longer has time for me.
Who no longer makes time for me.
Who pops up at random. One chance. Only chance.
Who's feelings I question still...

And He.
Who lives in a seperate state.
Who I'd have NO chance at a date with.
Who I know could know it is him.
Who I shouldn't care for.
Who's feelings I wish were there...

Finally He.
Who I am with.
Who is older than I by much.
Who my family would never approve of.
Who's wife I met today...
Who's divorce is final in a few months.
Who's feelings could be more trouble than they're worth...

But my feelings won't allow my mind to release their images from my thoughts.
Because my heart has always been in control and it's not letting go.
20 years and going strong. Does the mind take over with age?

The Message

You never know how much of an impact on someones life you can have by sending a simple text message...

I havn't been online... I've been working so damn hard... I quit my job at the Jerk Pit. Great people really... but it wasn't right for me. I work at Famous Hamburger still... I work A LOT. I need to get some rest and I need some time to think. I don't write much at all anymore because when I am not working I am still playing Gods War. It is all I do to relax. Play videogames to relax.... then sleep and work.

But in all that... my disappearance goes unnoticed perhaps by many... but thankfully you havn't forgotten me. So please. Feel free to call upon me anythime you wish. I do miss you. Thank you for never forgetting me. I wish I could give you the world.