Reflections

How pathetic was I as an angsty teen, but NO LONGER! Now a troubled adult my issues revolve around similar areas, but I approach them differently. No longer crying at every turn... I have kept my eyes dry for the majority of my nights alone in my bed. Old dilemmas include "Why doesn't he like me" and convincing myself that one day HE will see me and realise I am all HE needs. Whoever HE was. Current events are as follows: Dilemma... am I the Player or the Mark? Perhaps both... I refuse to play the game with a man who is clearly JUST NOT THAT INTO ME and am currently coming to terms with myself. I know I can love me all night long regardless of if someone else wants to partake in my loving me time. You can love me too for the small price of 20 payments of $5.99! I just made me sound so cheap! $5.99! Do the math and I'm over a hundred dollars mother F-ck-r. In other words I have a new policy for my men. Work for me. Cause I am no longer making all the moves and I know that if you TRULY want me. You will work. Trust.

Mistaken?

Fifteen and the count is rising. Should I
sit back and watch the tide come in?
Am I making a mistake, or am I using the right bait?
Don't think that this is getting me
any closer to the ending I have dreamed from the beginning.
Is it over? Am I winning? Is there anyone around me
that can let my pride back in?
Or am I destined to sin? And will the next one be him?
And will he tell all his friends?
Or will the secret stay between the sheets and
will it ever end at the beginning?
Can I will myself to fill in?
Will he fill in once again or will he file in as the one set from the rest?
© 2009