Kill Yourself

I hate what I'm becoming.
Not becoming what I hate,
but I am certainly unbecoming
to the seekers at the gate.
We are marching to a silent beat.
We all sing silent songs.
We silence everyone who strays far
from the volume of our wrongs
which we see right
and we look straight,
but we walk crookedly awake,
but we are sleeping.
We are game for anything
that brings us shame and twisted comfort.
Anything to tie us closely to our sins.
We're giving in to reach the moment where
our cleansing can begin.
© 2008

PAST COMMENTS
Dani Maxson
this is beautiful, really.
November 3, 2008 at 3:50pm

Go Change or Go Home... Fuckers

So I got this shit in an email:

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales commissions into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a “fair shake.”

2. All hourly employees will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are “too busy for overtime” to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as “the government.” We will not participate in this “pooling” experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The “government” will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard “for the good of all.”

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's “good to spread the wealth.” Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more “patriotic.”

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.



I must say people... REALLY?


Don't send me any of this shit.

If you want to vote for McCain with his terminal Skin Cancer in his Left Cheek then Great just elect him and let him die before his first term is even over and then we'll have Palin's idiocracy lead this country up our own asses. Have fun.
But don't send me this shit.

I don't want to hear mockery of Obamas campaign and policies because personally I DO think it's FAR better for the people all over who are so rich they can't smell how bad their shit stinks because their nose is up so high to be forced to share and stop being assholes and help the people who are about to dive unwillingly into poverty.

Vote for McCain and Palin so we can all see russia from our backyard. We went from a Grade A Retard to the Crypt Keeper and Miss Wordly who can see the Earth from her living room. While we're at it lets vote NO on Proposal 2 because it's cruelty to DEAD FUCKING EMBRYOS. No don't test dead things that are ALREADY DEAD because it's mean. I mean, I know we could find the cure to McCains Fat Cheek but hey... Save the world or be nice to dead babies... I say the dead baby is more important than the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD right? Yeah... and Medical Marijuana... Yeah vote NO on that because people will use it as an excuse to get high... Like people don't already use it as an excuse? Don't decriminalize drugs because then that might do something like... decrease the crime rate.... which is... not a good enough reason to decriminalize it because.... drugs are bad so we should put people in jail.... and spend more money on building new jails and less money on education. Less money on new homes for people who have NOTHING. Lets put more money into the war and less into helping our own fucking country. Yeah lets do all of this and we'll be far better off. Our country will be far better off with a dead man walking and a wannabe celebrity eskimo on a power trip in office.

We're being flushed and all McCain wants is to keep yanking the chain in hopes that the toilet will unclog itself. None of this shit is even true it's a bunch of twisted words. We're not all gonna have to share every fucking thing we earn. Obama is NOT handing out a bunch of free bullshit. He's helping in areas that we should have had help in ages ago. Canada has free healthcare for all citizens, but we pay for it. Why? Because we're idiots. Yes let's pay people so that we don't have to suffer. Let me pay the bank two dollars everytime I want MY OWN FUCKING MONEY because it's not the ATM of the original bank that I put my money in. Let me pay for every fucking little tiny pin needle microscopic thing because that's just how it is and the government said so. Don't question anything. It might be annoying but just go with it. If I worked hard then who cares if everyone in my neighborhood just dies and loses EVERYTHING because I worked hard and I have money now so let me go buy everything I could ever want. No one should ever help anyone lets all keep to ourselves because If I help you then you might be my equal and we just can't have that. I have the benz and if I help you you might get one too and I wanna be the only one. There are people who are so rich they could buy your life, end it, and pay people off so they get away with it. While there are people who are so poor they can't even buy a crumb to eat, a fiber to cloth themself with, a pebble to build a house out of. There are plenty of people in large corporations that work overtime and never see a check because they have waaaaay too much work to do and not enough time to do it. Some people DON'T have time to work overtime because they still have to go home and feed their families cooking and cleaning and paying bills with the money that they DID earn. People who work 7 days a week and STILL have to take overtime on some days are STILL about to lose their homes. But no. Don't help them. Don't help them they're just not working hard enough.

I'm tired of you emailing me. You know who you are. Stop emailing me. You don't call me you don't talk to me you just email me a bunch of stupid shit that I don't care about. Well for once you've emailed me something that I didn't just delete after looking at for two seconds. I don't care about your church and bible scriptures and I don't want to hear about your push for a dead president and his bimbo Vice. Stop fucking emailing me until you can make it worth my while. And for the rest of you. Don't fucking email me with bullshit either because you've been warned.

PAST COMMENTS
Jeffrey Michael Geiringer
....where the fuck do you work?
November 3, 2008 at 10:00am

Brittany Davenport
Hahaha, lol @ your response but yeah, that's annoying and dumb.

I don't know why people are so unwilling to help others, it really makes me sick...
November 3, 2008 at 11:19am

You New

I am patiently waiting
without anticipating
try to quicken my pace
without having to chase
what I already had...

Wishing I could change over night
if it meant no more fights
if it brings you in sight
if it sheds little light
if then we could ignite once again...

Is it so wrong...
I'd rather change than be without you
rather rearrange the out come to sound proof
Maybe you would doubt the day to come
that I could make you stay
that all of this could be ok
you won't except it so you say now
but I'm changing anyway.
© 2008

Inbetween (A Means to An End)

I am never inbetween.
I am always too extreme
It's either go for bitch mode.
or shut down and split the scene.

There is no happy medium.
Emotions - Just keep feedin' 'em
'Til one is cuttin' loose, and I am left
fightin' to chain it up.

The change in my position
rearranging my opions on
the give of what you're feelin',
the effects of my decisions.

My life is on it's path
to find the means to an end,
and I am trying hard to keep up,
but it's getting hard to stand.

So if you tolerate the landing
and except me as you see.
Just let me be and I will surely find
the end to what I mean.
© 2008

People Call For...

It's not the drinking or the pills
that get you into the bed.
It's just a little sweet talk
and some he said she said.
It's the drama and denial
and a hint of revenge.
It's the jealous ambition
and that rebound intent.
All you needed was a nudge
to knock you two stops forward.
All it takes is a leader
to make you follow the orders.
There's only so many ways
to make it in this situation
and it's a wonder how long
it takes to realise the problem is
YOURSELF
© 2008

I Ai Eye

I

Have no goals. Feel so cold.
Never once twice stirred nor shaken.
Life is slowing to a halt
and I'm trying not to waken.

Simply wasting through the day.
Not one word was ever said.
Yet I'm dreaming of the changes
that are rotting in my head
and it feels...

Not burnt, but starving, cold, and bored.
Not good, but stable, and quite unsure.
Not right, but still excusable
and truly something more than what I'm trying to perceive.

So I

Have no time. Feel just "fine".
Never once not been forgiving.
Life is never long enough
and I'm just glad I'm living.
© 2008


PAST COMMENTS
Bam Mulrooney
it's warm outside, ya know.
July 2, 2008 at 5:35pm

Lucas Molter
yeah it is, i got a sunburn for god's sake.
July 3, 2008 at 9:51am

Kiara Vann
Jesus you guys... It's not REALLY about being cold outside or warm outside. Can you like... comment on the thing itself and not tell me how to warm up?
July 3, 2008 at 11:33am

Bam Mulrooney
sometimes when I'm cold, I pretend I'm in a warmer place until I don't feel as cold.
July 5, 2008 at 11:05pm

Where the HELL is my Novicane?

It's just eating away at us inside. There's never a waking moment where it's not lurking in the corner waiting to strike. If you don't feel it now don't worry. Your turn will come. This is just another emotion bestowed upon humanity. It's not all bad I suppose. I know I'm human and I know I'm alive because I can still get my feelings hurt. There is NEVER a stupid reason to be upset. Unless you're being unreasonable... "I want TUNA!" No honey that doesn't work. If it's a serious matter then it's never illogical or irrational. It's how you feel and never let anyone tell you you are wrong to feel how you do. You have every right as a human being.

Problem is usually there is only one option that will truely ease your pain (even if it brings more first). Usually that option is the worst seeming one to choose. TALK. It's best to talk with someone related to that pain (if another person is involved anyway). It's too easy to talk to Billy about Bob when Bob is the real problem and there for the one you should be talking to. I understand that if you talk to Bob that Bob might not take it well and then you might feel worse. However, if you never talk about the problem with Bob you're never going to get anywhere.

I really need to learn to take my own advice... I'm seriously just talking to myself here... No, I do NOT have a problem with BOB. Their name is not BOB. That would be weird...


PAST COMMENTS
Olivia Mateso Mbala-Nkanga
You are talking to me in this weird manner of yours... I now to actually remember to take the advice.
May 3, 2008 at 10:03pm

Mixed Drinks

Here's the problem people. No one seems to want to be straight forward. So I think it's time we all have an attitude adjustment. Stop playing shitty little games and get to the fucking point. Make a god damned decision. Above all: BE HONEST!!!!

Just tell people the truth ya know? It's not fun for people to sit around wondering what's going on eh?

I just want honesty from all of you. Seriously. I cannot read minds no matter how badly I wish I could. Throw me a frickin' bone here. If we're friends then YEAY! If you're pretending to be my friend because we used to be friends, but now you're like Yeah no then just go away I'm not gonna die I'll be ok It's silly to make yourself suffer while putting up a false front and you're honestly wasting my time. If you're one of them sexy men who just so happens to want in pandora's box then fucking open it up. Don't sit there and stare at it and act like I dunno lemme just peek hmmmm walk away come back walk away repeat repeat ANNOYING. Pandora ain't got all damn day. Let her out or leave her the hell alone.

I love you guys ya know. All human beings deserve to be loved and respected and I respect everyone as a human being (even if I refuse to hangout or associate with most of them and don't know all of them and such and such does not mean that I do not respect their life and time on this earth). We don't have to all get along, but if we're not then we certainly should not pretend that we are.


PAST COMMENTS
Rachel Vergun
Amen sister, I totally agree ^_^ *glares at a certain jackass who shall not be named...* Anyway, hope you're ok apart from that. You should come over and hang out soon :)
May 1, 2008 at 5:07pm

So you want to read...

I'm quite frankly unsatisfied. Many people do many things that make me plenty bothered. People telling me everything is ok when it's not and they're showing it. People telling me I need to get out more. People saying too much. People not saying anything at all. To all the people out there: CUT THE CRAP.

I don't care if you got his number. I don't care if you hurt her feelings. I don't care if I'm a wreck. I don't care if you're mad because I never hangout with you alone. I don't care if your mad I talk to other people. I don't care if you're mad I don't like they guy you like. I think it's rude of you to pull shit with me because your feelings are hurt. I think it's fucked up you made out with him. I think he's a disgusting asshole. I think it's rude you don't defend your friends. I think it's stupid you won't talk to me. I think you need to make better decisions. I think you need to fly solo. I think you need to lose the attitude. I think you need to admit EVERYTHING you've done. I think it's funny you don't know I know. I think you're nosy. I think you've changed. I think you're being paranoid. I'm not here to tell you what to do with your life. I'm not here for you to lean on at all times. I'm not here for you to control. I'm not here for your entertainment. I'm not here for your pleasure. I'm not here for you to toss aside. I'm not waiting forever. You don't have a big butt so stop trying to jiggle the unjiggleable in everyones face. You are very pretty so stop saying you're not. You don't have self esteem issues you just like hearing people tell you you're beautiful. You need to stay faithful to the ones that love you. You need to stop acting like we can't be friends because of how I feel towards you. You need to learn some manners.Everyone should Chill the hell out, stop being immature, be more responsable, stop cheating on people, stop talking to assholes, be a better person, have more respect for your friends, quit talking shit, love yourself, and if you can't... LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE.

P.S. This entire thing is about various people and eachstatment switches between people/topics/issues. All of wich have been discussed already with their respectable counterparts.

One More Time

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST

Cleverly answer these questions...


Pick an artist: System Of A Down


1.) Are you male or female?
Sugar

2.) Describe yourself:
She's Like Heroin

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
Sad Statue

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Sad Statue

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Old School Hollywood

6.) Your best friend is:
Psycho

7.) Your favorite color is:
Streamline

8.) You know that:
This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I'm On This Song

9.) What's the weather like?
Snowblind

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?
Question!

11.) What is life to you?
Stealing Society

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?
F The System

13.) Your worst enemy is?
Peephole/Spiders/War?

14.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Starlit Eyes

15.) Describe your current relationship?
Shame

16.) Say something about love :
Lonely Day

17.) How do you feel about your parents?
Temper

18.) You're siblings?
Storaged

19.) Describe your job :
Dreaming

20.) What do you do to pass the time?
Violent Pornography

Turn it out

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST

Cleverly answer these questions...


Pick an artist: Sugarcult


1.) Are you male or female?
Pretty Girl (The Way)

2.) Describe yourself:
Beautiful Stalker

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
How Does It Feel/I'm Alright

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Stuck In America

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Drive All Day/Destination Anywhere

6.) Your best friend is:
She's The Blade

7.) Your favorite color is:
Blackout

8.) You know that:
You're The One

9.) What's the weather like?
Worst December

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?
Sign Off

11.) What is life to you?
Killing Me

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?
Make Up (Pretty Waste)

13.) Your worst enemy is?
Majoring In Minors

14.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Anna's Touch

15.) Describe your current relationship?
We Come Crashing Down

16.) Say something about love :
Majoring In Minors

17.) How do you feel about your parents?
Made A Mistake

18.) You're siblings?
Say I'm Sorry

19.) Describe your job :
No Action

20.) What do you do to pass the time?
Hate Every Beautiful Day

Try Again

1.) Are you male or female?
Ass Shaker

2.) Describe yourself:
Getting By

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
Face Down

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Home Improvement

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
20 Hour Drive

6.) Your best friend is:
Your Guardian Angel

7.) Your favorite color is:
Angels Cry

8.) You know that:
Misery Loves Its Company

9.) What's the weather like?
Cat And Mouse

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?
Waiting

11.) What is life to you?
In Fate's Hands

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?
Seventeen Ain't So Sweet

13.) Your worst enemy is?
My Heart

14.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Atrophy

15.) Describe your current relationship?
Disconnected

16.) Say something about love :
Damn Regret

17.) How do you feel about your parents?
Kins And Carrol

18.) You're siblings?
False Pretense

19.) Describe your job :
Justify

20.) What do you do to pass the time?
Love Seat

Music Tells All

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST

Cleverly answer these questions...


Pick an artist: Paramore


1.) Are you male or female?
Born For This

2.) Describe yourself:
For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

3.) How do you feel about yourself?
Let The Flames Begin

4.) Describe where you currently live:
Temporary

5.) If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Rewind

6.) Your best friend is:
Miracle!

7.) Your favorite color is:
Brighter

8.) You know that:
We are Broken

9.) What's the weather like?
Here We Go Again

10.) If your life was a television show, what would it be called?
Sunday Bloody Sunday

11.) What is life to you?
Pressure

12.) What is the best advice you have to give?
Never Let This Go

13.) Your worst enemy is?
My Heart

14.) If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
That's What You Get

15.) Describe your current relationship?
Conspiracy

16.) Say something about love :
Love's Not A Competition (But I'm Winning)

17.) How do you feel about your parents?
My Hero

18.) You're siblings?
Decoy

19.) Describe your job :
Misery Business

20.) What do you do to pass the time?
Breathe (Until Tomorrow)


PAST COMMENTS
Perris 'Tumbao' Williams
OYURS IS GOOD i like 16 and 20 the best!
March 23, 2008 at 10:41pm

Kiara Vann
I thought about doing it again with a different artist
March 23, 2008 at 10:50pm

Perris 'Tumbao' Williams
do it
March 24, 2008 at 12:00am

Definition of "Taking a Break"

There's never a good time to say these words. When you've found someone who is obviously head over heels, kiss your feet, worship the ground you walk on, enjoy the smell of your hair even if you havn't washed it let alone showered for three days, in love with you. Just what in hell do you do when you don't know how YOU feel? Are we unsure if what we want in life? Yes. Yes we are.

Who am I to say what I want in life at 18? I mean if there are people this young out there who already know then good for them, but I think at 18 I'm entitled to my confusion. For me myself 18 is too young to say forever. Exactly when is it a good time to move on? How can I just up and leave someone I care about? It's never easy to hurt the ones you love, and there's no such thing as letting them down easy. It's always a dent in the ground sort of thud. The simple fact of the matter is we need to decide what we want and we can't do that when we're tied down to one option now can we? But there's the issue of letting go...

What happens when you untie the knot? What if they float away and you can't get another balloon? Well now you're screwed because everyone else has a fucking balloon and you just realised you shoulda never let go the one you had 'cause it was all shiny and blue and you didn't know how pretty a shade of blue it was until you let it go off into the atmosphere, blend in with the sky, and find a nice cloud that probably treats him well and looks better than you do.

If I really think about it... I need to go find a nice cloud before he sucks out all of my helium... or maybe it's I who sucks the helium because I'm deffinetly going insane here.

When You Say "It's Complicated"

So what's the point of cheating? Where's the honesty in that? Are you afraid to tell the truth about your feelings? I think that's called denial... Or maybe it's that you don't want to admit that you're not sure of what you want. Maybe you don't want to look like you don't know what you're doing or maybe you like everyone to think you're in control. Well obviously this isn't working on the inside because you're so busy trying to perfect your illusion that you're ignoring the problem and it's only getting that much more complicated.

When is it time to admit your faults? Obviously it's not easy if the fact that you're not perfect is going to let someone down and I mean sky diving without a parachute hard. There's no good way to put it. When you have about as many bad moments as you do good it turns into one of those long drawn out precalc problems just to see if the good out weighs the bad. Maybe it's like if the answer is even then the good triumphent and you stick it out. Unfortunatly these problems end up with a big NO SOLUTION stamp marked all over it. So it's up to you to decide... what now?

The Problem:

It just might be time for a change in your current situation, and unfortunately it's not as easy as most changes (You don't wanna wear purple today? Change your shirt.) You're decision is likely to affect someone else in a not so positive way... not at the moment anyway, and really youre not even sure the change is a good idea... Hence the dilema.

The Solution:

How the hell should I know? Seriously the only thing to do is... talk about it... New Problem:I can't talk about it with the person that needs to hear it... because I'm afraid of hurting them... but I get this feeling that because of how things are going it might be wise to change pace... and maybe we'll meet again...

Conclusion:

I need to learn how to honestly express my concerns... but it's complicated.

PAST COMMENTS
Caitlin Calcagno
Did you write this? It was fabulously written.

Talking it with the person might be best if it's hurting you inside. Sometimes if you talk to someone about something that will hurt them, the pain will only be there for a little bit. It's better than you carrying the pain inside yourself.
March 11, 2008 at 2:53pm

Kiara Vann
Yeah I did write this and Thanks ^.^

I talked to him and it feels a bit better but... Well I'll be explaining in another note if you would like to read that lol
March 16, 2008 at 10:59pm