When Confusion Ends Well

All day I waited for you to come. You arrive at 3:54PM, but I miss your calls and come outside after calling you at 4:06PM. Bad news is that your father wants to go take care of some car business with you today and he wants to do it right after he gets off of work at 5PM, but he did not tell you this until you were already on your way out here... So I manage to see you for maybe half an hour to go get Oil for your car...

I'm upset... I try to be understanding... I cancel my dinner plans on some idiotic thought that it won't take very long at all for you to return. After all you did promise to return. My intuition gets the better of me, but it is too late to re initiate dinner. Instead I eat my leftovers.

I began to give up hope... and become hurt... it's been hours upon hours... My uncle is convinced I am going no where tonight. Shun the non believer! I refuse to listen. A small glimmer of hope and trust that you will not break your promise to me. Simply because you've never made a promise before. So this must be real.

At exactly 10:30PM you text me and I am on my way to see you. When I arrive we are unsure of what the plan is. During the brainstorm I receive a phone call and then spend most of my time tending to the needs of a friend. Simply because he is very important to me. You'll have to understand that eventually, however, I don't think you currently have any thoughts on it at all. So I suppose for now this doesn't matter.

It is at this point that I realise that I act somewhat childish around you... It may be product of a child-like innocence present in the feelings I posses that associate with you. Or I could just... get so nervous that I act like a little kid...

Things feel different. I worry I'm bothering you... boring you... Perhaps you do not like my outfit... perhaps you just don't find me as attractive as you once did.... It could simply be that I am feeling insecure today. I seek your approval and I do not feel that I am receiving it... Perhaps I am being needy today... I curse my chemical imbalance that comes hand in hand with being born a woman. Fluctuation of hormones = emotional roller coaster.

You barely get close to me... I want your attention... I've missed you...

But things alter. You gave me a sign.

As I lean against the corner of the booth at Pizza House My smile fades... I am giving up... You ask what's wrong and tell me to come here. Pulling me towards you you rub my belly. Silly boy. I feel accepted. We were simply tired. Now you hold me close. You touch me softly. Forehead kisses... My favorite.

All

is

well...

Oh... Right. I saw Chloe. A girl I went to Elementary/Middle School with. But that is unimportant.

I really like this boy...