Useless Talent #2: The Shepard, The Lamb, and The Slaughter

They say you can't tickle yourself, nor can you surprise yourself (outside of doing something you didn't think you'd ever get the nerve to do). You'll always know what's coming because you've made the decision to do it.

I, on the other hand, have mastered the art of tricking and trapping myself. Gentlemen this makes it easy because I'm doing most of the work for you.

I've heard the saying "Don't hate the player. Hate the game." many times in my life. I have come to the conclusion that if I am to hate anyone in this it is myself. A Player is basically the Shepard and his "Mark" is the lamb. Now as we should all know the Shepard brings the lamb to the slaughter. The thing is that I play myself. This lamb just goes a walkin up to the slaughterhouse without the Shepard even making a suggestion. I have fallen for some of the worst possible guys. I have put myself in some of the most ridiculous situations. I have been deep in denial and I have ditched all the good things I could have had along the way.

I thought the Shepard was good for me. I convinced myself. Men wouldn't have to lift a finger for me to be at their side faithful, tried, and true. I have been given up on, let down, looked over, crushed, ignored, blindsided, abused, you name it, I've felt it (for the most part).

I must be destined to follow those that don't truly care to lead me. As of late I find myself to typically be hung up on those that love another. Two from the past, though one of which I thought would be my future. I am now aware for he has made it very clear that what we had is history. The last from afar should be unimportant, but grows ever more dear to my heart, meanwhile, I am waiting to be blindsided yet again by the present I happened upon in my summer class.

The truth is I love, and when I love I give my all. The problem is I do not want to change this. I simply want my love to be reciprocated, and given to in return. Therefore, what am I complaining about you ask? The fact that you too may take my kindness for weakness, and I again will only show you that they are one in the same.

My problem is this. Why do we choose to flaunt our strengths? Why is it so wrong to show weakness?

I have found within myself as well as within others that though our strengths are great, and they shine beautifully on the outside to those that we share them with, if we use our strengths only to take advantage of one another and hurt eachother, then that is our true weakness.

Knowing and accepting your weaknesses and flaws as well as either ignoring or accepting the faults of others shows true strength.

I'm sorry I can't be perfect, but I never made that promise.