Talent in Progress #1: Keeping my Distance

He's like a new John
Only this time... I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love with him.
So far I only miss him sometimes.

Sometimes men are no good to be around. I just hate how they make me feel... even the good parts... because I know it always ends in the bad parts.
Nothing good can come of us.

I think I'm making a strong attempt to keep things in control here. After all I can't even see him.

I have a bad history of loving people who don't love me, liking those who don't like me, caring for those who don't care, and feeling for those who have no feelings left. I date assholes and broken rejects. I like the rejects better... The only problem with dating the rejects is that I got to them too late so they're already too beat up to care much anymore. I end up being the girl who was too good too late. Assholes just kind of disappear after our relationship evolves to the sex stage. Hit it a few times... Pretend that feelings have deepend... then vanish. Broken hearts I can't fix? Fine. Empty spaces with no answers left? Not ok.

I'm just no longer listening. No longer looking. Disconnecting... So I can be here but not really BE here. Maybe now I won't go out broken again.