Masochistic Tendancies

Why is pain the most inspiring emotion? Even over extreme happiness... I write more when I am sad... No matter what. I find that when I'm happy I am bursting with energy and excitment. It's difficult to explain how I feel and I'm basically just too musy enjoying my time being happy to write about it. So I guess when I'm upset or feeling hurt I sit and wollow in it... I find the time to figure out exactly how I feel and get it down on paper... I'm in no hurry except for to stop feeling this way... But it's unfortunate because I would much prefer to have vivid images of the good times I've had. Instead I have the trouble wrapped in packages. Beautiful. Tragic. Thus is me. My life. How... Absurd.