Confused

Confused because I hate you? But I really do care.

I think you're great. I think you're a hypocrite.

I think you're narcissistic and a liar.

You're not a very good friend.

But I confide in you. I run to you in my times of need.

In desperation I think of you first.

I cry to you. I miss you sometimes.

I read your blog and watch your videos.

You're irritating. Charming as well.

I don't trust you. I'm not at all fond of your pity. Your guilt.

I believe that's why you speak to me when you do.

Sometimes I convince myself you care though.

But you've said it many times that you are not my friend.

I know your name now, but I won't speak it.

You don't even remember the line anymore.

I think that hurts the most.