In and Out

I'm in and out of some sort of happiness... I don't really think it's a happiness, but simply a passive contentment. Not like true contentment... more like giving up. I go through giving up for a while until I remember how much bull you're pulling and then I get angry. I'm thrown back into a fit of rage where I just curse you all and wish for your deaths. Meaning it... or at least not caring about the thought. Then I sob... to myself... and the next morning I'm giving up again. It's a rather pathetic cycle I've grown used to. There's not a thing that's going to change until you stop pretending it matters to you that I'm happy... and leave. Leave me alone. I've been trying to make you do that for a long time now. Over a month. Get the hint... I did.