Current mood: 
depressed
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
1. I hate History.
2. I hate Boys.
3. I hate people who are so blinded by love that when you try to warn them they don't listen.
4. I hate that I feel like I am one of those people.
5. I hate stupid white girls no matter how racist it sounds. I don't hate them all just the dumb ones Who think they can have whatever they want, who know how to use people to get it, who are fake, who complain about stupid things like "I wanted a diamond necklace not a pearl one" or "Daddy won't let me hangout on saturday because I hungout all this week so far even on school nights. But, I have to go saturday because it's just so important that I get what I want" or the classic "Golly gosh I just don't know which boy to go to the dance with it's so hard to decide", Who know they're beautiful, but say they're not to get attention or just to hear some guy tell them, who know they're anorexic skinny, but want some guy to tell them they are beautiful so they say "I'm so fat and ugly" just to hear it.
6. I hate the guys who fall for it and ignore the girl who not only actually likes them but wouldn't mess with their head like that and would do anything for them and never hurt them.
7. I hate how guys complain that "I can't believe she did this to me" when it was obvious and everyone else told them everyday to get out but he wouldn't listen.
8. I hate the stupid black people no matter how racist it sounds. I don't hate them all just the dumb ones.
9. I hate the guys who think that talking all slurred and sagging down to their knees and skipping class and smoking and drinking is cool and if they actually go to class they sit in the very back and either disrupt class or go to sleep. They talk about every girl they've fucked and about how big their dick is and saying "Nigga" and sit in the back of the bus making a lot of noise calling all girls "Bitches" and "Hoes" and talking about girls like sex is all they're good for and always talking about "Pussy" and acting all "Hard" and "Gangster" like they're so damn tough. Mother fucker you were born and raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan! There are no damn gangs! You are not "Street" or "Gully" or anywhere remotely close to a "Thug gangsta"! You probably have never stabbed anyone in your life and have never even seen let alone touched an "Oozie". You simply feed into the stereotypes of the modern day black man. You are a tool. I hope you rot in jail. I dare you to sag your pants and drop that soap. You will be somebodies bitch and there will be no pussy in sight for the next 30 years you pathetic wannabe thug, highschool drop out, tryin to be a gangsta in college bitch!
10. I hate the girls who are so damn loud, get in fights like the boys, act catty as hell, pull eachothers weave, earings, nose rings, and even real hair out ripping eachothers cloths off. They have the nerve to cuss a teacher out for no reason and start singing in the middle of class when they can't even sing but they sing like they're good at it. They act like they're all that and a bag of fucking chips. Well, you're not! You're not even half the damn chip! You're just like everyone else expects you to be. A loud ignorant black girl who is good at dancing, sometimes singing, and usually sex too since most of you arn't virgins. Just another stereotype. I hope you never figure out who your "Baby's daddy" is. Go ahead and go on all those stupid talk shows and get the DNA tests. Make a fool of yourself on television and get a tape to remember it by. You'll either turn to drugs and be a terrible mother or you'll work nights as a stripper while your baby stays at a friends house or your mom's.
11. Now for the Asains. I'm not doing groups since stereotypically you all look the same, but I will point out a few things specifically. First of all I love asians. But, everytime I try to defend the rare negative stereotype (since you get all the good ones you bastards) you fucking go and prove it's true! For example: Koreans can't drive for shit. Now I hate it when people say that. But of course when my uncle says "Look at this idiot driving like a retard I bet they're you know what" and everytime I say "how do you even know" he says "Look" and I do and damnit there you are at the wheel. Another example of a stereotype gone wrong. My god you even fuck up the good ones! All asians are smart.... -_- you need to check that shit because there are a few of you (and I do mean A FEW) that were a little too curious on your quest to be a fucking genius because you just had to eat a few apples off the stupid tree! Here's my suggestion. Put down your instrument, stop making PSP's, quit school, buy some of those little blue pills and a few penis enlargers, go get a beer and eat a few more retard apples and work on that beer belly, watch nothing but sports all day, have lots of sex, and learn how to drive and for the girls all you have to do is wear little to no clothes and a lot of makeup and become a complete and total slut-skank. Not only will you beat the stereotypes of being asain but you'll become a true american like the rest of us.
12. I hate girls who lose their virginity because they didn't want to make him mad or they didn't want him to dump them or they didn't want to ruin the moment. Especially if you did it when you were drunk off your ass. YOU-ARE-A-WHORE plain and simple. You have no confidence or self worth and you must have forgotten how to say the letters N and O together. Sorry love. You might wanna go get tested and pray you're not pregnent. Now if you said no and he did it anyway or if he threatened you then it's not your fault he needs to go die from Ghonneherpisyphalaids and I hope you're ok because that's totally uncool.
13. I hate guys who only want sex. that's not what life is all about. One day you'll be old and nasty and no one is going to just have random sex with you anymore and you will feel lonely and you will want someone to hold at night and you could've had that a long time ago when you were using people for sex. It only gets harder as you get older. Well actually that might not get hard when you want it to...
14. I hate people who have affairs or cheat on their Sig. Other. What in hell would you do that for?! If you love someone you shouldn't do something you know good and well will hurt them if they find out. If you don't think about it before you do it you don't really love them. If it happens have the guts to tell them and own up to your mistakes. Understand they may hate you for it and they may leave you but that's your fault. If they forgive you know they are still hurt and you better work hard to keep them and never do it again. If you want to get with someone else while you're with someone either dump them and go for it or stay with them and keep it thought oriented only. Make a choice. Decide who you want more. Decide whether or not you're willing to lose that person you're with. Cheaters are pathetic as far as I'm concerned not only do you have no self respect but you care only about yourself and concidering what you do you don't seem to care about yourself much either.
15. I'm sick of everyone who thinks that their problem is more important than anyone elses, who act like no ones life is worse than theirs. My life sucks, but I know it could be worse. My issues are pretty bad but there are worse that I don't have to deal with.
16. I hate how people seem to think that they can only focus on how one person feels.
17. I hate that everytime I want to just scream "I want out!" There's someone there to do it first.
18. I hate how my problem coinsides with everyone elses problems.
19. I hate how I constantly put my feelings aside for my friends.
20. I hate how every material thing I want I get and how everything that's worth living for, everything that is priceless, everything that you're supposed to hold at the highest level of importance, everything completly unsuperficial is out of my reach.
21. I hate how I feel that I've become everything I hate and love.
22. I hate how I feel like I know nothing and everything at the same time as far as whats worth knowing.
23. I hate how I'm so afriad to hurt people yet I do it everyday most of the time without even trying.
24. I hate how My emotions control my actions.
25. I hate how I can't do anything to change.
26. I hate how I feel... completly empty, usless, helpless, pathetic, and alone.
27. I hate the world, and I hate me.
There's only one answer for how to stop the pain. I have to die. But of course I'm also afraid of that So there's nothing I can do. I'm a puppet. I can't do anything I want to. I control myself and yet I can't cut the strings because I'm a fucking pussy. I'm afraid of everything. I can't do anything because I think too much. I can't kill myself because I don't know how it'll be and I'm afraid to find out. I can't trash my room in a rage because my dad would kill me and for some reason I care about that. I can't stop caring no matter how hard I try because I always thinking "What if..." What if I'll be happy one day? What if it'll all go away? What if I'll get what I want? Maybe everyone who was an ass before will be punished later in life. Life is taking it's sweet ass time. That's another thing. I'm impatient plus I'm sick of people saying that "Life goes on and everyone has to deal with it. Why sould you get special treatment?" I didn't fucking ask for special treatment. Most of the time people who say that are happy with their life at the moment so they can't relate at the time and it doesn't help me much. The one thing I've always wanted since fucking Kindergarten is Love, and I don't mean that shit your family gives you. As far as I'm concerned they are your family so it tends to be a given that they "Love" you and if they don't then that sucks but they're just family to me. I've had family love all my life it's nothing new and sorry but I don't feel it's all that special. When someone outside of my family that I feel a connection with can show me Love unconditional and true I'm afraid I may die from pure joy. Life is supposed to be a give take type of thing. I feel as though I give more than I get. So either I need to find people who will give as much as I do or I need to stop giving so much. I've tried both and neither work so far. That's the most important thing to me. Love is what I think life is worth living for. Sometimes I get it for a bit, but it's like it's taken away as soon as it feels right. As soon as I think "So this is what it feels like for someone to love you back" they change their mind. Every fucking time like I wasn't who they thought I was, but I've always been the same person. I guess they just opened their eyes one day... and sometimes... sometimes I open mine...
Currently listening:
Hot Fuss
By The Killers
Release date: 16 August, 2005
depressedCategory: Dreams and the Supernatural
1. I hate History.
2. I hate Boys.
3. I hate people who are so blinded by love that when you try to warn them they don't listen.
4. I hate that I feel like I am one of those people.
5. I hate stupid white girls no matter how racist it sounds. I don't hate them all just the dumb ones Who think they can have whatever they want, who know how to use people to get it, who are fake, who complain about stupid things like "I wanted a diamond necklace not a pearl one" or "Daddy won't let me hangout on saturday because I hungout all this week so far even on school nights. But, I have to go saturday because it's just so important that I get what I want" or the classic "Golly gosh I just don't know which boy to go to the dance with it's so hard to decide", Who know they're beautiful, but say they're not to get attention or just to hear some guy tell them, who know they're anorexic skinny, but want some guy to tell them they are beautiful so they say "I'm so fat and ugly" just to hear it.
6. I hate the guys who fall for it and ignore the girl who not only actually likes them but wouldn't mess with their head like that and would do anything for them and never hurt them.
7. I hate how guys complain that "I can't believe she did this to me" when it was obvious and everyone else told them everyday to get out but he wouldn't listen.
8. I hate the stupid black people no matter how racist it sounds. I don't hate them all just the dumb ones.
9. I hate the guys who think that talking all slurred and sagging down to their knees and skipping class and smoking and drinking is cool and if they actually go to class they sit in the very back and either disrupt class or go to sleep. They talk about every girl they've fucked and about how big their dick is and saying "Nigga" and sit in the back of the bus making a lot of noise calling all girls "Bitches" and "Hoes" and talking about girls like sex is all they're good for and always talking about "Pussy" and acting all "Hard" and "Gangster" like they're so damn tough. Mother fucker you were born and raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan! There are no damn gangs! You are not "Street" or "Gully" or anywhere remotely close to a "Thug gangsta"! You probably have never stabbed anyone in your life and have never even seen let alone touched an "Oozie". You simply feed into the stereotypes of the modern day black man. You are a tool. I hope you rot in jail. I dare you to sag your pants and drop that soap. You will be somebodies bitch and there will be no pussy in sight for the next 30 years you pathetic wannabe thug, highschool drop out, tryin to be a gangsta in college bitch!
10. I hate the girls who are so damn loud, get in fights like the boys, act catty as hell, pull eachothers weave, earings, nose rings, and even real hair out ripping eachothers cloths off. They have the nerve to cuss a teacher out for no reason and start singing in the middle of class when they can't even sing but they sing like they're good at it. They act like they're all that and a bag of fucking chips. Well, you're not! You're not even half the damn chip! You're just like everyone else expects you to be. A loud ignorant black girl who is good at dancing, sometimes singing, and usually sex too since most of you arn't virgins. Just another stereotype. I hope you never figure out who your "Baby's daddy" is. Go ahead and go on all those stupid talk shows and get the DNA tests. Make a fool of yourself on television and get a tape to remember it by. You'll either turn to drugs and be a terrible mother or you'll work nights as a stripper while your baby stays at a friends house or your mom's.
11. Now for the Asains. I'm not doing groups since stereotypically you all look the same, but I will point out a few things specifically. First of all I love asians. But, everytime I try to defend the rare negative stereotype (since you get all the good ones you bastards) you fucking go and prove it's true! For example: Koreans can't drive for shit. Now I hate it when people say that. But of course when my uncle says "Look at this idiot driving like a retard I bet they're you know what" and everytime I say "how do you even know" he says "Look" and I do and damnit there you are at the wheel. Another example of a stereotype gone wrong. My god you even fuck up the good ones! All asians are smart.... -_- you need to check that shit because there are a few of you (and I do mean A FEW) that were a little too curious on your quest to be a fucking genius because you just had to eat a few apples off the stupid tree! Here's my suggestion. Put down your instrument, stop making PSP's, quit school, buy some of those little blue pills and a few penis enlargers, go get a beer and eat a few more retard apples and work on that beer belly, watch nothing but sports all day, have lots of sex, and learn how to drive and for the girls all you have to do is wear little to no clothes and a lot of makeup and become a complete and total slut-skank. Not only will you beat the stereotypes of being asain but you'll become a true american like the rest of us.
12. I hate girls who lose their virginity because they didn't want to make him mad or they didn't want him to dump them or they didn't want to ruin the moment. Especially if you did it when you were drunk off your ass. YOU-ARE-A-WHORE plain and simple. You have no confidence or self worth and you must have forgotten how to say the letters N and O together. Sorry love. You might wanna go get tested and pray you're not pregnent. Now if you said no and he did it anyway or if he threatened you then it's not your fault he needs to go die from Ghonneherpisyphalaids and I hope you're ok because that's totally uncool.
13. I hate guys who only want sex. that's not what life is all about. One day you'll be old and nasty and no one is going to just have random sex with you anymore and you will feel lonely and you will want someone to hold at night and you could've had that a long time ago when you were using people for sex. It only gets harder as you get older. Well actually that might not get hard when you want it to...
14. I hate people who have affairs or cheat on their Sig. Other. What in hell would you do that for?! If you love someone you shouldn't do something you know good and well will hurt them if they find out. If you don't think about it before you do it you don't really love them. If it happens have the guts to tell them and own up to your mistakes. Understand they may hate you for it and they may leave you but that's your fault. If they forgive you know they are still hurt and you better work hard to keep them and never do it again. If you want to get with someone else while you're with someone either dump them and go for it or stay with them and keep it thought oriented only. Make a choice. Decide who you want more. Decide whether or not you're willing to lose that person you're with. Cheaters are pathetic as far as I'm concerned not only do you have no self respect but you care only about yourself and concidering what you do you don't seem to care about yourself much either.
15. I'm sick of everyone who thinks that their problem is more important than anyone elses, who act like no ones life is worse than theirs. My life sucks, but I know it could be worse. My issues are pretty bad but there are worse that I don't have to deal with.
16. I hate how people seem to think that they can only focus on how one person feels.
17. I hate that everytime I want to just scream "I want out!" There's someone there to do it first.
18. I hate how my problem coinsides with everyone elses problems.
19. I hate how I constantly put my feelings aside for my friends.
20. I hate how every material thing I want I get and how everything that's worth living for, everything that is priceless, everything that you're supposed to hold at the highest level of importance, everything completly unsuperficial is out of my reach.
21. I hate how I feel that I've become everything I hate and love.
22. I hate how I feel like I know nothing and everything at the same time as far as whats worth knowing.
23. I hate how I'm so afriad to hurt people yet I do it everyday most of the time without even trying.
24. I hate how My emotions control my actions.
25. I hate how I can't do anything to change.
26. I hate how I feel... completly empty, usless, helpless, pathetic, and alone.
27. I hate the world, and I hate me.
There's only one answer for how to stop the pain. I have to die. But of course I'm also afraid of that So there's nothing I can do. I'm a puppet. I can't do anything I want to. I control myself and yet I can't cut the strings because I'm a fucking pussy. I'm afraid of everything. I can't do anything because I think too much. I can't kill myself because I don't know how it'll be and I'm afraid to find out. I can't trash my room in a rage because my dad would kill me and for some reason I care about that. I can't stop caring no matter how hard I try because I always thinking "What if..." What if I'll be happy one day? What if it'll all go away? What if I'll get what I want? Maybe everyone who was an ass before will be punished later in life. Life is taking it's sweet ass time. That's another thing. I'm impatient plus I'm sick of people saying that "Life goes on and everyone has to deal with it. Why sould you get special treatment?" I didn't fucking ask for special treatment. Most of the time people who say that are happy with their life at the moment so they can't relate at the time and it doesn't help me much. The one thing I've always wanted since fucking Kindergarten is Love, and I don't mean that shit your family gives you. As far as I'm concerned they are your family so it tends to be a given that they "Love" you and if they don't then that sucks but they're just family to me. I've had family love all my life it's nothing new and sorry but I don't feel it's all that special. When someone outside of my family that I feel a connection with can show me Love unconditional and true I'm afraid I may die from pure joy. Life is supposed to be a give take type of thing. I feel as though I give more than I get. So either I need to find people who will give as much as I do or I need to stop giving so much. I've tried both and neither work so far. That's the most important thing to me. Love is what I think life is worth living for. Sometimes I get it for a bit, but it's like it's taken away as soon as it feels right. As soon as I think "So this is what it feels like for someone to love you back" they change their mind. Every fucking time like I wasn't who they thought I was, but I've always been the same person. I guess they just opened their eyes one day... and sometimes... sometimes I open mine...
Currently listening:Hot Fuss
By The Killers
Release date: 16 August, 2005
PAST COMMENTS
I'm at the library and my other user that I never go on unless I'm not at my house wouldn't log on, so I made another user. It wouldn't log on so now it sucks and I can't get on AIM. Waa, talk to you at my house. Byes
Posted by NATE ZUELLIG on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 6:28 PM
*hugs*
Posted by NATE ZUELLIG on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 9:24 PM
I'm at the library and my other user that I never go on unless I'm not at my house wouldn't log on, so I made another user. It wouldn't log on so now it sucks and I can't get on AIM. Waa, talk to you at my house. Byes
Posted by NATE ZUELLIG on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 6:28 PM
*hugs*
Posted by NATE ZUELLIG on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 9:24 PM
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