Used to It

I'm used to excuses.
I'm used to people taking quite a long time to decide that they care enough to contact them at least 15 days ago (and usually even longer).
I'm used to pity.
I'm used to people talking to me because they feel "guilty" for ignoring me when all I've ever tried to do is support them and be there for them. To be a friend.
I'm used to "I'm sorry."
I'm used to people saying it. Constantly apologizing with no real meaning to it. Because if it meant that much to them there would eventually be no need for such things simply because they would have stopped repeating the same mistake ages ago.

I am used to giving up.
I am used to people messing up and screwing me over so often that I constantly lose faith in people in general. No matter how hard I try to never lose hope.
I am used to faking it.
I am used to people never noticing that I am only asking them the basic generic questions that one asks when they care, but I don't, and I hate it when they answer the question as though I was being sincere. I never cared about your answer at that point.

I've gotten used to people taking a while to realize that perhaps something is wrong. Asking "Are you OK?" when the answer is quite apparent.
I've gotten used to being generic, dull, and negative once I begin to give up on people. "Who's the lucky girl these days." Notice the lack of a Question mark. Instead I placed a period indicating that I really don't care to hear the answer though you gave it to me anyway... "That's nice." "Has its moments." "Don't they all."

I've gotten used to the idea that I have problems.

• Depressed:
  As far as I'm concerned this is as good as it gets.
  It's a hard cycle to break.
  
  
• Emotionally Dysfunctional:
  Looks better on a resume.

Neither one will be put on mine. My mother suggests I seek counseling. I think not. "Why not?" Maybe I'm in denial, or perhaps I simply am not too keen on the idea of telling some random person all of my business and personal thoughts knowing that not only are they going to be taking notes, judging me, and then turn around, tell me what's wrong with me, and get PAID for it! But that this is supposed to help me...
If I wanted to complain to a real person I'd just call one of my crappy friends. "Well, that's obviously not working for you. You need someone that doesn't know you who is trained and impartial."
I've gotten used to people telling ME what I need. I've come to the conclusion that I can figure that out on my own just fine. I don't call my so called friends. I don't because they're part of the problem. I call one person (family members not included). That's it now. No one else is true, and no one else is there for me.

But I'm fine by myself.
I'm used to it.